Rather it's an entry to show just how far I've come from a year ago.
A year and a few weeks ago I had a very important meeting at my college to get my placement for my student teaching.
This was my second time doing it.
I wrote this right after that meeting:
She stands there, cool and confident in red and black. She smiles sweetly at everyone in the room, but leaves her sweetest, candy coated smile for the girl that is repeating her internship.She made her withdraw once for political reasons. She had to keep a principal happy, that was more important than the truth or justice. But she won't dare do it again. She doesn't dare. She knows the girl has friends that will get suspicious if it happens again - friends that will do something about it.Everyone in the room is talking, all nervous and excited. Except for one, the girl sits in a cloud of calmness at the moment. The girl has done this before and can feel no excitement at doing it again.The clock shows the starting time. The room grows silent, not a word being spoken, until she states clearly and firmly that they are waiting on a few more people.Gradually conversation starts again. Everyone still excited, but now anxious and hopeful. They're just waiting, waiting for the moment to arrive. They want to know where they'll be and with what grade.Time passes, she can't wait any longer. The meeting must begin and so it does.The lady begins to speak now. Cradled in her arms the lady holds a stack of papers. All eyes rest on this stack; they hold the placements, the keys to everyone's future.The placements go out. The girl is the second one to get a placement.She observes her placement with wry amusement. It was in a town not far from hers, in the county right next door like the girl had been promised. Yet the grade wasn't as high as the girl was told it would be, she's with the same grade the girl was in before.The girl feels panic move through her veins, her hands begin to shake a little. Can the girl do it this time? Will the girl's time be wasted yet again?Amid the excited murmurings of everyone else in the room the girl sits there quietly, lost in her own mind, as she tries to come to terms what is happening.All at once all of the feelings from the past few months appear inside of her. The girl almost can't handle it, but the girl takes a deep breath and on the exhale the girl feels freedom arrive as the emotions leave.The lady sits down and she begins talking, going on about plans and rules that the girl has heard before.The girl listens with half an ear as she realizes something. 'I can do this, no one can keep me down, and I shall not let my life pause here any longer.'
On today a year ago I entered my Student Teaching and found that my life really hadn't paused.
Going through that first failed student teaching was probably one of the most painful moments of my life, but is most likely one of the most rewarding.
Because of dealing with Mrs. Teacher, Dr. Head, and Mrs. Principal and everything else that happened I ended up finally finding the right path in my life. So, there's a sense of irony in that, but, oh well, life is like that.
I don't know what the future holds, but 2012 is a new year and I'm ready to face it with my eyes open and my wings spread.